I’ve always been an introvert, a loner. I’ve always liked being alone. Doing things my way, myself. I’ve always hated being out in public. Having to talk to people. Whether it was ordering food or checking out at the store I hate interacting with strangers since I was a kid.
I was very “backwards” as a kid. I always hid behind my mother when a waitress would come over. My Mom always had to order for me. I always took longer than anyone else to warm up to people. When I’d meet someone new I wouldn’t really talk until they’d been around a few hours.
The only time I remember ordering food for myself as a kid is when my parents and I went to this little restaurant in town and had the same waitress over and over. I finally got comfortable and ordered for myself. That was definitely a big step in working on my “outside self” as I like to call it.
I did really start to break out of my shell until I was 10. My parents spit up and spending time at my dad’s kind of removed my shield I had when going out places with my Mom. With my dad, I ordered for myself and slowly that began to help.
Over the next 10ish years, I’d order for myself at dinner when we were out. Or order for myself at places like Taco Bell or McDonald’s. I slowly starting getting more confidence and developed what my sister and I call a “people voice.” A more confident voice with a super polite tone.
I still can’t believe it but most of the time when we go out I end up being the head of the table. I’m the one who asks for things sometimes I even get up to ask. I think that is partly thanks to going out with my Mom, sister, her husband and their kids. Since everyone else was occupied with the kids I was the one who had to get things. It really helped.
I still have days where I get really nervous. I still get nervous if I have to talk to a doctor’s office or delivery driver on the phone. I’m still working at it but I never would have imagined that I would be the head of the table back when I was a kid hiding behind Mom making her order for me.
I know it isn’t what someone suffering from anxiety what’s to here but the only way to get better is to push those boundaries little by little and it will get easier over time. I’m going on 11 years pushing mine and I still get nervous and always will in different situations.
All mental health issues will always be there in your head. It can get better but it will always be there. Learning to live with it and learning what it takes to help you deal with it better can help immensely.
If you want to talk about anxiety please feel free to DM me on Twitter or shoot me an email! Or leave your experience in the comments below!
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Photo Credit: Photo taken by me with a Canon EOS Rebel T5 with an 18-55mm lens and edited by me in Photoshop. **This post was not sponsored**